Spooky Scary Skeletons

               Andrew Gold

           Report and analysis by this faggot right here

            Spooky Scary Skeletons is a song by Andrew Gold.  I chose it as my song to describe the crossroads: the places where reality clash with the supernatural not only because it was popular, but because it shares a special place in my heart as one as my favourite songs.

            Spooky Scary Skeletons is about the troubles that one would experience when discovered the corpse of another living being.  Because of how shocking the entire experience would be, one would start to possibly delude themselves in the madness that they might come back to life.  This is a sign of being very attached or dedicated to the one who died, or simply having irrational fears from watching one too many horror films.

            The song delves in to the madness one may experience once encountering such a terribly frightening object: an endoskeleton without flesh.  The song constantly reminds the listener of how terrifying they truly are as the title of the song is repeated many times throughout.

            Eventually, the listener would discover how truly petrified the person is of corpses, where they start having irrational fears of anything that slightly resembles bones. They would constantly hallucinate that the bodies are talking to them and preforming actions on their own, even at one point describing them as ‘Zombies’: mindless walking undead.

            The listener lastly finds out that the poor witness has finally become unable to sleep, seeing skeletons everywhere, speaking to him, chattering their rotten teeth to them. Eventually the witness is assumed to drop dead to the floor, as the song ends when Andrew Gold states that he was awoken by an apparent skeleton with a “BOO!”

            In my honest opinion, Spooky Scary Skeletons may not be one of the best songs ever made, nor one of the best Andrew Gold has ever produced, but it is truly a work of art and deserves every bit of appreciation it gets.

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Analysis:

"SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS"

This line is referring to the supporting structure of the human body: the endoskeleton. Witnessing such an object outside of a human body would imply that somebody may have died, and therefore, would cause extreme fear and dismay towards the person that witnessed it. It is a completely understandable response.

"SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE"

If a shiver is sent down your spine, it would mean that an uneasy feeling is sent to the receptors in your nervous system, which responds by sending pulses instantly through your nerves. This feeling usually occurs when one would fear their lives and initiate ‘fight or flight’. Witnessing a human endoskeleton outside of a body could easily cause such a fear.

"SHRIEKING SKULLS WILL SHOCK YOUR SOUL"

This line is rather confusing, as it is rather impossible for a mere skull to shriek, or send electricity through your body. First of all, the skull would not possess a voice box, and therefore, be unable to cause any shrieking or screaming sounds. Secondly, even if a current was sent through a skull, the bone would have a difficult time conducting it. If it is referring simply to surprise, I would be surprised too if a skull managed to scream.

"SEAL YOUR DOOM TONIGHT"

By 'sealing your doom', your fate would be locked, and you would without a doubt, perish.  This is questionable, as a skeleton would be unable to kill you. The only logical possibility I could think of is if the plausible murderer of said corpse were to end your life for seeing the body.

"SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS"

This line is identical to the very first line, I suggest you go back and enjoy the re-read. It is likely repeated to emphasize how scary the situation would be.

“SPEAK WITH SUCH A SCREECH”

Once more, it is physically impossible for a skull or endoskeleton to screech by themselves. They would also be unable to speak at all.

“YOU'LL SHAKE AND SHUDDER IN SURPRISE”

This line confirms that the previous line was indeed referring to surprise, and not physically shocking. It also continues to tell the listener that witnessing the corpses will send adrenaline rushing through their bodies.

“WHEN YOU HEAR THESE ZOMBIES SHRIEK”

Firstly, these are not ‘zombies’ we are dealing with. It is very unlikely that a lone skeleton would be able to reanimate as an undead abomination. Secondly, I have already explained that a skeleton lacks a larynx, and therefore is unable to speak or emit sounds. I suppose that being surprised by such an action is just.

“WE'RE SO SORRY SKELETONS; YOU'RE SO MISUNDERSTOOD”

This line refers to apologizing to a corpse in a means to express your pity towards the person who has died. Likely, the person had many regrets in life and has had many shortcomings, leading to them to become misunderstood. If the person is referring the corpse itself being misunderstood, they would likely believe the corpse is not what people think it is, and therefore must be delusional.

“YOU ONLY WANT TO SOCIALIZE”

A corpse does not have the ability to socialize, nor the wish to. Maybe in their past life, the endoskeleton’s owner wished to socialize more with others but never had the chances to. This line expresses more related to spirituality, and understanding what the dead would want.

“BUT I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD”

This line expresses logical sense and reasoning. Socializing with a corpse can be either a sign of insanity or attachment to the previous person whom that life belonged to. By not socializing, you are guaranteeing others to view you as a sane person.

“CAUSE SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SHOUT STARTLING SHRILLY SCREAMS”

Once more, an endoskeleton without flesh attached to it would be unable to speak. It does not possess a life, or a larynx, or a brain, or any other organ really.

“THEY'LL SNEAK FROM THEIR SARCOPHAGUS”

By this point, I have had trouble deciding if the singer is serious or not. The mummified skeletons of ancient Egyptians would not be able to escape from their sarcophagus. That is merely a myth passed down by ancient text.

“AND JUST WON'T LEAVE YOU BE”

This is an indeed frightening line. Everywhere you go, there will be Skeletal corpses there. You will be practically walking on corpses for every moment of your life. This is experiencing true fear, as you would always smell the foul air of decay and have to deal with maggots and such at all times.

“SPIRITS SUPERNATURAL ARE SHY WHATS ALL THE FUSS”

This is the most beautiful line in the entire song. It expresses the fact that the spirits, the supernatural are quite shy and unable to speak with us properly. They feel unwelcomed in this world because they belong in the afterlife. This is where the crossroads would come in to play.

“BUT BAGS OF BONES SEEM SO UNSAFE”

Because of the fear of skeletons one may have developed over experiencing them constantly, one may find a mere pouch with a fear bones in it extremely frightening. This is more of an irrational fear, but where it would come from would be understandable.

“IT'S SEMI-SERIOUS!”

This line refers to the bags of bones. They would be considered still a massive concern by the one with the irrational fears, but not as much as the real corpse. Therefore, a mere bag of bones would be only semi-serious, and only attended to after all endoskeletons are dealt with.

“SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS ARE SILLY ALL THE SAME”

It is less silly and more frightening how common the appearance of said corpses are. This line surprises me and makes me feel as if the person who wrote these lyrics is slowly losing his sanity as he writes.

“THEY'LL SMILE AND SCRABBLE SLOWLY BY AND DRIVE YOU SO INSANE”

Technically, skeletons are always smiling. Their teeth are always visible unless they have already rotted away. You could be walking by them slowly and curiously only to see the creepy expression on their face. This could easily drive one insane. This line also proves my previous statement of Andrew Gold losing his sanity.

“STICKS AND STONES WILL BREAK YOUR BONES”

This line is a reference to the classic rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

That line means that no matter what is said to one person, they will never be really hurt by what they say. What this line is doing in this song is questionable. Maybe it implies one should destroy the corpse before anybody else sees it.

“THEY SELDOM LET YOU SNOOZE”

If there were a corpse in my room right now, I would very much have difficulty getting a proper rest. It is understandable how one would have trouble sleeping with a lone endoskeleton nearby.

“SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS WILL WAKE YOU WITH A BOO!”

For the final line of the song, it is quite disappointing. After multiple times of stating that a skeleton would be unable to conduct proper speech due to lack of any flesh or organs, it still suggests the skeleton of a corpse possesses the ability to say “BOO!”

I believe that Andrew Gold has made much better pieces of music, but this one piece demonstrates the harsh choices and experiences between life and death very well.