There isn't a whole lot I can say about Saints Row: The Third that Jeff didn't previously capture in rather poetic form when he first saw the game prior to E3. You already know about the game's weaponized dildos, human-exploding Hulk-hands, inexplicable airstrike capabilities, and all out assault on common decency. I suppose I could just reiterate that the game is *crag*ing crazy. It totally is.
Meet Phillipe Loren, Belgian dandy and murderous asshole.
That said, THQ did have a bit more to show of the game during its holiday showcase in New York City, today. In addition to the apocalyptically silly sandbox gameplay (which you can get a perfect taste of in this trailer right here), and the first level of the game (which Jeff saw previously), I got a quick look at the game's second mission, and the game's primary antagonist.
If you've been following along with Saints Row: The Third coverage thus far, you're aware of the basic story outline. The Saints (who you may recall are the gang of note in this series) are now hot shit in Stilwater, having completely taken over the city's criminal underworld and amassing a reputation as something like a cross between Robin Hood and his Merry Men and the Kardashians. They spend as much time signing autographs and marketing cheap crap based on their brand and likenesses as they do actually committing crimes--that is, until a new rival gang, known ominously as The Syndicate, makes a bid for a hostile takeover.
The Saints run afoul of the Syndicate after a failed assault on a bank owned by the shadowy cabal, and subsequent capture by the newly bought-off police force. Presented with the gang's leader--an effete yet ruthless Belgian (who instantly reminded me of Karl Lagerfeld)--the Saints are given an ultimatum: turn over 66% of their ill-gotten profits (after taxes, of course) to the Syndicate, or die. Perhaps if you're a fan of this series, you already know how Johnny Gat and crew handle situations like this. Let's just say they don't give them the money.
What ensues is a wild shootout on a goddamned airplane. Gunfire on an airborne plane is usually kind of a bad idea, but Volition's modus operandi for this series has typically been to make really dangerous, awful decision-making fun. So you're on a plane, and you're killing scads and scads of Syndicate goons, sometimes by shooting them, sometimes by using them has human shields, sometimes by giving them flying clotheslines for no other reason than because it looks awesome.
Eventually you have to ditch the plane while Johnny makes his way to the cockpit. This does not go according to plan, as you and series lady friend Shaundi go flying out the back amid a hailstorm of flaming crates and airborne SUVs. You also find yourself trying to dodge parachute-sporting Syndicate members aiming to gun you down as you fly through the frigging air. Somewhere in there, you have to break to try and catch a free-falling Shandi, but as if this whole sequence weren't bonkers enough, then the plane decides to turn around and try to ram you out of the air. So, of course, you do the logical thing: drop Shandi back into a free-fall, shoot out the window of the cockpit, fly through the plane punching and shooting a few more bad guys along the way, then fly right back out, while snatching another parachute in the process.
So, to recap: in between bouts of shooting armed bad guys in the middle of a thousands-of-feet free-fall, you have to break into a moving airplane, kill more people, get out of that airplane again, and somewhere in there, rescue a girl. It's quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever seen--and I mean that wholeheartedly as a compliment.
Hellllloooooooooo nurse!
Apart from the 20-plus missions and various side ventures throughout the game, sandboxy hailstorms of death and chaos are probably the biggest draw of Saints Row: The Third. Jeff talked a good bit about some of the highlight-worthy methods for terrorizing the local populace previously, but one recent item that's been getting some significant attention is Professor Genki's Man-a-pult (from here on out referenced as "the man-canon," because that's just easier to type). This demented looking car features a fiendishly grinning cat on the front grill that actually sucks up random pedestrians and enemies, and immediately inserts them into an up-top cannon that can be used to both attack foes or just send bodies flying for no particularly good reason. Those launched skyward tend to hit with a resounding splat, making this the perfect way to explain to your child why a career in the circus is probably not a great idea.
The man-cannon and related wares--including a full man-cat costume, octopus gun, and snazzy stunt suit--are all part of a pre-order bonus for the game. I asked if that bonus was a retailer exclusive, and it sounds like it isn't. Pre-ordering anywhere should allow you access to terrifying cat heads and human-propelling weaponry.
You can check out a full trailer for the whole Professor Genki pack below. And you really should. It's just ever so stupid. And great. Stupidly great.
