It's been rumored for months, and now we finally have official confirmation: PlayStation All-Stars: Battle Royale is Sony's answer to Super Smash Bros. No, that's not just a quick-and-dirty comparison. Look at the PlayStation Blog reveal video above if you don't believe me. It's the same damn concept.
The only way this ends is with a Nintendo lawsuit, right?
Except that now, instead of Mario and Samus and whoever else, you'll have the likes of God of War antihero Kratos, Twisted Metal lead crazy person Sweet Tooth, noted anthropomorphic fox and master thief Sly Cooper, and tragically underused boy/dog/rapper Parappa to play around with. Other announced characters include Colonel Mael Radec from Killzone, and the eponymous Fat Princess of her own game. Sony has hinted that some third-party characters could join the thus far solely first-party cast, though nothing's been confirmed yet.
The action, at least based on the reveal, looks definitively Smash Bros.-like, with multiple players battling it out in Sony-themed arenas, using fairly over-the-top abilities mined from their particular universes. Again, you can get a decent look at the action in motion via the promotional video above, so I probably don't need to describe it in too much detail.
Now that we know it's out there, all that's left to do is speculate wildly about what characters would make good combatants in a PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale. I'll get the discussion kicked off with a few suggestions of my own:
- Piposaru - Considering the terrible things Sony has been doing with the Ape Escape franchise of late, the least they could do is let me run around smacking Nathan Drake and Kratos as a mischievous, siren helmet-wearing monkey. The sheer variety of weaponry he'd have at his disposal alone makes this an attractive option.
- The King of All Cosmos - Katamari started out as a PlayStation franchise, and I would certainly consider the King a PlayStation All-Star. His enormous size might be tough to insert into the game, but I'm sure the developers could think of something. Preferably something that properly leverages his smooth, royal charm, and preternatural crotch bulge.
- Reiko Nagase - With the exception of Gran Turismo, what driving franchise is more closely associated with the PlayStation brand than Ridge Racer? I have no idea what her abilities would be, except for a particularly brutal special move where she calls in a drift car to essentially clear the entire track. Also, any time she knocks out an opponent, Kaz Hirai's head will pop up Dan Forden style to let out a particularly hearty "RIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER!" It never gets old, people.
- System Update - You play as a sentient, partially completed progress bar whose sole ability is to slow down time to an excruciating crawl. All the players on the field eventually die of boredom.
- Anonymous - An unplayable boss character that appears as a swarm of V for Vendetta masks and immediately disconnects you from the PlayStation Network. You won't be able to reconnect your console online until you beat them. Fortunately, they're all malnourished and out-of-shape due to their constant computer use, so you pretty much just have to hit them once to win. It's actually kind of anticlimactic.
What have you got?
