Lord Crump older than one year ago

Once upon a time, a Tanuki was heading down to the local marketplace to purchase some more sake when

Read the review at the link I just gave you. Go ahead, I'll wait.

I doubt I've ever read a more stupid critique in my life. I mean, what the hell? I could understand giving the film an incredibly low one star if he, you know, actually explained how the film was bad based on its artistic merits. That's what critics are supposed to do, right? Good critics, that is. Provide an objective-as-possible take on a movie, considering the quality of its acting, script, cinematography, and other important qualities.

Ebert didn't do this. Instead, he wrote a mindless  rant on how the movie is supposedly "immoral."

First off, newsflash, Mr. Ebert: it's a movie. If you can be offended by pure fantasy such as this, then you're an egotistical moron who's obsessed with upholding a moral code that has essentially become meaningless.

Secondly, there's a certain amount of hypocrisy at work here. Roger Ebert has actually worked on films in the past that could be considered "immoral" in the same way this film is. Also, why doesn't he complain about Tarantino? Tarantino directs all sorts of films with over-the-top violence treated in silly ways.

Is it because "oh, it's a cute little girl, she shouldn't be doing those things?" No. That's a stupid argument. Grown adults shouldn't be doing those things either. By using that argument you're essentially arguing, "well, it's not okay for little girls to kill people, but I have no problem with grown men killing other grown men! Da-derp-da-derpity-dumb."

Jesus Christ, this guy's going senile, I swear to God. He'll trash anything he deems too "immoral" for his pompous tastes and like shit like the Garfield movie just because it's "family friendly."

You are all to address "Frozen" as Fludgewidgeon

Or at least get a D in it.

Shit.

Now that I have your attention, do you agree or disagree, and why?

I named it Gold

Any help would be greatly appreciated

I named it Silver

I'm about 3 hours in as of now. So far, it's all good; it raises the bar for videogame production values, acting as an "Avatar" of sorts for videogames.

As for the linearity, while it is more linear than FFIX and earlier games in the series, honestly, I think people may have been exaggerating, as the level design is no worse than FFX's (And FFX was an awesome game).

The battle system is just as I expected it to be; ATB perfected. This is, without a doubt, one of the most fun and engaging battle systems in the series; it is true that you can only control one character during battles, but that is a minor issue that really doesn't detract from the experience at all.

As for the cutscenes, some people were saying that the game was incredibly heavy with them, calling the game a "movie" of sorts; so far, this seems like bullshit. The game is no more cutscene heavy than FFX was (And FFX was an awesome game). I like the way the game handles cutscenes, as well; the cutscenes are shorter and more scattered around than other games that elect to just put out less, but far longer cutscenes (I'm looking at you, MGS4).

There aren't any towns, but honestly, I can't say that I miss them. Since when did an RPG need "towns," anyway? In some situtations, they just feel too artificial and non-fluid; in a game like FFXIII where you're seen as terrorists and pretty much hated by everyone, honestly, being able to walk around towns and in to random people's houses and shops would be stupid and completely take you out of the game's atmosphere and plot. Having no towns can really add to the atmosphere, as well; in Metroid Prime, there were no friendly NPCs and everything wanted to kill you, which made it feel special. In Demon's Souls, aside from the Nexus and the odd merchant placed here and there, there was little to no human interaction whatsoever (Adding to the overall feeling of hopelessness the game possessed). In FFXIII, you're outlaws being hunted down by an autocratic, highly religious government. It works.

Speaking of plot, so far, the game's narrative and characters (Save for Vanille, who is really starting to piss me the hell off) are far more interesting than XII's. This is a true step up, and a return to form for the series. And that's without mentioning the lore of the world of Coccoon and Pulse; overall, it's a very interesting setting. Let's see if the rest of FFXIII's plot can make the most out of the setting.

So yeah, overall, so far, so good. The way FFXIII is structured, however, brings to mind a theory that I've often considered; that the video RPG genre is slowly going to die as other genres adopt RPG elements and hold better-developed stories, making "true" RPGs harder to distinguish. FFXIII is a more streamlined experience, with a greater focus on combat than some of the previous FF titles in the series, which had the occasional puzzle in addition to combat. Overall, it's a very experimental title (Of course, then again, the FF series is a more experimental series than most other JRPG franchises).
 

holy shit it all makes sense now

You're all fanboys/fangirls of something. Usually, you're not just fans of a single franchise, either; if you're not an extreme, obsessive-compulsive maniac, you're probably a fan of multiple different fictional universes. And if you're like me, you've probably wondered what it would be like if elements of your favorite fictional universes were taken and crammed in to a single awesome game.

For example, my ultimate fangasm fantasy crossover videogame would be a Final Fantasy/Mass Effect/DC Universe crossover game. Your starting playable characters would be Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, the Flash, and Wonder Woman. The plot would go something like this: the Justice League recieves a distress call from the Guardians of the Universe, so they set off in to space to find out what's wrong. Along the way, they confront Garrus Vakarian and Urdnot Wrex from Mass Effect, who are tracking down the missing Commander Shepard.

HOWEVER, the plot thickens. Garrus and Wrex believe that the threat that the Guardians of the Universe are warning about is actually the REAPERS, but in truth, it isn't.

IT'S THE FOUR FIENDS OF CHAOS.

But they aren't the traditional four fiends of chaos, no. They're Kefka, Sephiroth, Golbez and SEYMOUR GUADO. During the climax of the game, the four fiends summon the great demon Chaos who then teams up with Lex Luthor and Darkseid to pose a threat of cosmic proportions, and it's up to the Justice League--now composed of Final Fantasy and Mass Effect characters in addition to the original DC Universe superheroes--to stop this threat once and for all.

So, in summary, it is the greatest idea for a videogame ever and would be totally awesome.

Share your crazy ideas for an ultimate fangasm game that addresses all of your geeky interests here.

*crag*ing ps3 system clock error