srs .bizness
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This is a story about the members of digibutter.nerr and their adventures in the strange world they live in. You will guide them in their adventures and lead them to their sucess or failure. Remember, handling the lives of others is very srs .bizness. Make wise choices.
A young lady is still asleep in her room. What is her name?
Replies:
Enter name >
Your name is DUUUUUUUH!!!!!!!!!!!
..wait, what the *crag*. Oh now look what you've done, you woke her up. She is slightly irritated by your ridiculous name calling.
Anyways, your real name is Nastasia. 3 years ago, you worked with a small group working to end all worlds, but in the end you were abandoned by your leader and left no where to go. You came to the land of digital butterflies to settle down and live a peaceful life. You spend most of your days wasting your life on video games and other various non productive activities. At night you work for an organization called the Invisible Gorons, spending countless hours doing secretary work such as filling out mountains of paper work and running many errands. Luckily, since you are such a hard worker, your boss gives you weekends off. Today is Saturday, and it is 1 pm. What will you do?
>>Be a worthless piece of shit all day
Because you are so organized, your clothes and your glasses are right next to your bed. You put them on. Now what do you do?
ROW ROW FIGHT DA POWA
Whatevs, go to bathroom and brush teeth because apparently this is amusing
It seems Slim, your boyfriend, got up earlier than you did and isn’t in the room. You wonder where he is but you’re sure you’ll find him later.
Why don’t you just check out all this shit in your room for now?
>Realize your SPECTACLES resemble
and ROW ROW FIGHT THA POWAH
You open the drawer and find your huge stash of weapons. Since you work for a super secret organization, you always need a little extra protection. Most of them are actually Slim's, but he never notices when you borrow one.
You equip the Master sword and the Hylian Sheild. You're not really sure why you are, but you feel pretty badass holding these things.
You wander through dangerous dungeons and fight scary monsters all the way to the legendary kitchen, where you will get a delicious snack. What will you eat?
but whatever
>quickly make a sandwich using an 80's montage
This is NOTHING like a Viagra commercial.
Okay *crag* eating, you decide you are on a diet today. Instead you climb out the window because you are entirely too lazy to go through the door. There isn't much on this side of the house, so it might be a good idea to go somewhere in town. You might find one of your friends there.
> Be the frog. Dodge the cars.
> if there is no oncoming traffic, pretend there are cars
>look both ways and cross the road
>>Visit Francis
>Go to local store and purchase
to achive hipster status
You recall the layout of the town, as well as some key places(at least they are key to you). The outer edge of town is mostly residential, and the inner part of town is where all the shopping centers and government buildings are. Where will you go?
(you guys can make up another location if you'd like, it's not limited to what i've labeled. I just ran out of ideas, that's why there isn't much of anything that isn't houses.)
(Yes I know everyone that posted in this topic has a house, I decided to be nice and include everyone that's posted before this update. I don't want to see everyone saying to go to their house. Pick somewhere meaningful to go)
>go to darkz's house HUEHUEHUE
>go to darkz's house HUEHUEHUE
>go to my house
>go visit me because I live at a power plant or something
You head to the city hall, where town meetings and many other social events occur. It looks like your friend, Popple, who hosts the weekly digibutter tv/movie stream, is here. You assume he's here getting things ready for the stream tonight.
I change my command to
>Notice Popple's beret, go into sneak mode and attempt a steal.
jk this isn't a real update
Chat Log:
You: Hey popple
Popple: What the hell do you want
Popple: I'm busy
You: Oh, sorry. what're you busy with?
Popple: Did you forget what day it is or something
Popple: I'm setting up shit for the stream
You: Oh, right
You: do you want any help with that?
Popple: no
Popple: Why do you have a sword and sheild
You: Well i guess i'm going on a little adventure
Popple: An adventure in being retarded?
You: no ):
You: you're just jealous that i have an awesome sword
Popple: Yeah, sure, whatever.
sorry
You nicely ask Popple to join you on your adventure, and he agrees to only for a short amount of time. As you leave the city hall, you notice someone familiar across the street...
It's him! You are so glad you finally found Slim. You wonder how you will approach him.
> sneak up, knock him out
>Faint in the middle of the road
Also, lol, my house isn't on the grid. I like that. Nice continuity.
>Popple: BE THE BAD GUY, KIDNAP SLIM
>set up his stream for him
maybe you should have posted earlier if you wanted a *crag*ing house tch
also no update today too lazy
...and SUPRISE HUG!!!!!!
Why would you delete all the posts that just elaborated on what a fruity dickface you were to TCC and then not delete your post that instigated it. Also it's incredibly pretentious of you to ask for suggestions in this. You can't take a suggestion and only do the part you like. Just update with whatever you feel like if you're going to continue doing stuff like that.
> Be Maiq because he's pretty cool?
Or see what Goron is up to since you do work for him I guess.
>Be the gentlemanly and amazing Ph1r3 bros.
A shadowy figure walks down a dark alley. Who is this man?
>Royce Randall Sir Thundertits of the Lost Promethean Junglebirds
>be the shadowy figure
Your name is Link, the hero of time, as well as the hero of a whole lot of other things relating to Hyrule and the Triforce...
Wait, that's not right. Why the *crag* would you be the hero of something so boring? Your real name is Royce Randall Sir Thundertits of the Lost Promethean Junglebirds, or as your friends call you, Goron Mask. You are the glorious leader of a super secret organization called the Invisible Gorons. What exactly does this organization do? All sorts of silly shenanigans, most importantly plotting revenge on your greatest enemies, the Bitlands. Unfortunetely you have been spending most of your time just trying to find a way into their city, and have been failing at that. Someday though, you are going to find a way in there, and completely ruin their shit.
You are about to enter your super secret base, the Invisible Goron Hideout. But first you take notice of your lovely irrational bees, which guard the entrance. They make a great guard, and you are very proud of them.
>Become aware of the fact that the bees look alot like Mickey Mouse heads.
>Collect delicious honey for your latest scheme: LSD-Laced Honey Nut Cheerios.
new rule: i am the only one that updates
You enter you super secret base. The first room of this base is the meeting room, where members of the organization meet to discuss plans and other things. On the table you have a recent plan which failed. You should probably get rid of this before you get overly frustrated by just looking at it. The other rooms are storage rooms, offices for members with special purposes, and of course, your office, the best office in the building.
People who are in the IGH Nas
>rape the plans
(location on the list means nothing, except for the first name)
>initiate operation regisurp
You decide it's time to plan a new expedition. You decide the first step is to form a team of four. You automatically include yourself. Who will the other 3 members be?
>darkz, flavio and meowmixer
Choose Darkz, Flavio, and MeowMixer >
Now that you have your team, you must contact them and tell them to come here.
post god damn it
well i think it's because even if people post you'll probably hate all the suggestions so you'll just do your own thang
but whatever, >be gay and switch to darkz
I usually pick one or two of the suggestions and modify them if i need to. Sometimes I combine them. I'm sorry I can't do all of the suggestions, I just don't have the time to make 7 pages all in one night. And plus I do have a general idea of where i want this to go, so if something doesn't fit in at all then i just dont' do it
A mexican boo sits in front of his computer, bored. What is his name?
>Poopyshit Von Walruscock
Enter name >
Your name is Poopyshit Von Walruscock... No wait, that's not it. It must be Darkz. Yeah. You are a lonely mexican boo who spends most of his days sitting at your computer desk wondering what you should do with your day. Despite having a boring personal life, you actually have an exciting career. You are a high ranking member of the Invisible Gorons. You get to go on a lot of the big missions and are very well respected in the group. Perhaps all this excitement outside of your house is what makes you clueless as of what to do at home. Right now, you are so bored you are almost falling asleep. Just as you close your eyes, you receive a message on your computer. You wonder who's bothering you now, and you wonder if you should bother to open this message.
>Take medication, you need your happy pills
You shoot up with caffeine...in form of an incredibly sugary soda, of course. Your favorite drink.
You read the message. Oh boy, now you get to go outside and do stuff. Exciting. You wonder what Goron wants this time.
>play some shitty moba's
Enjoy one last thing before leaving >
You listen to Light My Fire by The Doors before leaving. It's sort of a tradition of your's to listen to your favorite music before you leave, because you never know if you'll make it back. As you listen to this song, you recall all the dangerous missions you've been on. It's depressing for you, but, you decide you should stay confident, because you made it out fine all the other times.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flOvM4Z355A (provided by Popple)
>procrastinate some more
GET TO THE IGH ALREADY >
You decide that's enough bullshit for today, and you hurry to the IGH. You seem to be late, being the last one there.
Meeting Log:
Goron Mask: What took you so *crag*ing long to get here
Goron Mask: We've been waiting here for 30 *crag*ing minutes
darkz: i was uh
darkz: busy
darkz: i guess
Goron Mask: Next time don't be "busy"
Goron Mask: Anyways, we have important shit to discuss here
Goron Mask: Whatever plans you had for today forget them, becuase we are all going to go into the mountains today and we are going to make it through this time.
Flavio: We haven't planned at all for this though
Flavio: Wouldn't it be kind of stupid to just go in there and expect to get through just fine?
Goron Mask: Are you doubting my ability to lead all of you through the mountains?
Flavio: Uh, no, of course not.
Goron Mask: Good. Then let's get going. Right now.
>GM, Flav, darkz, Meow: TO THE PIMP MOBILE
Darkz: quickly comtemplate suicide
Slim what are you doing
Goron, Flavio, Darkz, and Meow: TO THE PIMP MOBILE >
Finally time to go out to those damn mountains.
>GM: Get out of car and piss in gas tank
> GM: Hit 88 MPH
> GM: Travel back in time, to some mountains in ancient China
> Radio: Play "I'll Make a Man Out of You"
>GM: smoke pot, lose control and "accidentally" plow into a field full of ponies, killing them all
>Flavio: Weep for your lost friends
Slim and Nas: Follow them? >
Now just wait a *crag*ing second, you haven't even been properly introduced! No time for silly names this time though.
Your name is Slim. You are a blue, triangular pixl with the ability to turn yourself and a friend essentially invisible. You find this ability very useful in a lot of situations. You are also the richest resident of the city of Digibutter. Personality wise, you are generally a pretty cool guy that usually nobody has a problem with. You are also a member of the Invisible Gorons, but you don't participate very much and are rarely assigned to missions. But that's okay, you have lots of other things you can do.
Currently you are next to the city hall and the city park with your girlfriend, Nastasia. A red car with the driver and the passengers being friends and members of IGH has just sped by, and you are considering pursuiting the vehicle. However, you don't seem to have the proper form of transportation to follow this red car currently. What will you do?
also slim can't fly
> slim: have nas grab you and fly after the car
if slim can't fly, why does he have wings and he fliiies in the aiiir
> Slim: Flip the world turn-ways
^ Me on MeowMS.
"my attention span is terrible"
-Nastasia, 2011
>finish this
Flavio, Darkz, MeowMixer, and Goron Mask were traveling in the pimpmobile for 2 years straight heading nowhere. After hitting 88 MPH they turned on the radio to hear What Is Love. That song played in the pimpmobile for the entire ride.
Over the years darkz melted and became a floating smile. Goron Mask melted as well, eventually leading him to turn into a pair of eyes only known as Shadeston. Flavio WAS going to melt too, but he decided to take off his gay blouse and only lost his hair. Now he just wears a red shirt; he also really likes weed and hitler now for some odd reason. MeowMixer remained an unchanged psychopath.
Not looking where they were driving they somehow ended up back in Digibutter Town and ended up running over Nastasia. However, they were too busy listening to the music to notice and nas forever rotted on the streets as a green ghost.
>the end