His eyes -- how they twinkle! His dimples -- how merry!
His cheeks are adorned with phat shades from Burberry.
His mouth is set hard, like grayscale concrete,
And his scraggly man-beard leaves the ladies effete.
For this elf isn't jolly, or chubby or plump;
This Santa, he ain't putting up with no coal or no chumps.
No this Santa's a free skin in Croteam's new update.
So go ahead, download him -- do it now, don't be late!
Yeah he's armed and he's angry and he's all out of gum,
And he don't care if you're naughty or nice, smart or dumb.
You might hear him exclaim, as he breaks you like glass,
"Merry Christmas to all, now let's go kick some ass."
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