Wait, why did I write “hooray” up there? This is terrible. The one thing that has – during Steam sales – kept me from making broken bacon from every last piggy bank in my possession is distance. Sure, while out-and-about, I could ogle the deals du jour on my phone or what have you, but it was like standing on the opposite side of the glass from a whimpering, doe-eyed puppy. I could look, but – much as it broke my screaming heart – I couldn’t touch. Now, though, that’s all about to change. The buying-games-on-the-go part, I mean. I still can’t have a puppy, because mine is the harshest existence.

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