I have slain a dragon. I have walked the coasts a this land more times than I can count, treading upon the lives a creatures most foul. I have felled the beasts a the forest with arrows 'n steel 'n pillaged their leavings for aught. I have died, thousands a times, as have those who have adventured with me. 'n, in the end, I think back on almost none a it with fondness, or the nostalgic recollection given t' hard fought, hard won battles. I be no hero.

Listen now, as I play for ye the song a me heartache. Let me spin ye a tale a confusion, anger, humility 'n bona fide bewilderment in the face a abject mediocrity. Let me tell a Seraphina the Arisen, the wench loyal pawn Josephine, 'n their stupid, stupid quest t' save the kingdom a Gransys. Let me tell ye a Dragon's Dogma.