I think I only truly became An Adult right around the time I first heard of EVE Online. Growing up, you see, the concept of space conjured notions of adventure, heroism, and utopia. The possibilities, my naive peanut brain figured, were endless. But time has a way of imparting essential kernels of wisdom upon even the most head-in-the-stars of youths – mainly, that people are complete jerks to each other. And so it is with EVE Online. Catapulted into the endless reaches of space, human existence is… pretty much the same. Corporate shenanigans, frequent backstabbery, and – if a new trailer’s anything to go on – lots of dubstep continue unabated. Only difference is, there are super nifty space ships, which make being a bounty hunter a viable career path – even for people not named “Dog.” And so we arrive at the new Retribution expansion, the bounty-hunting-est one yet. It’s out now, which means you’re probably already dead.

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