Do ye Nidhogg? For years, only a few people could answer YARRRR, but now the one-on-one swordfighting game has found it be way into public hands. Adam 'n Graham have been waving their swords at one another, fighting for the right t' be eaten alive by the pink worm a success.

Adam: We have gathered here t' speak a Nidhogg, a game that has been in development since men drew swordfighters on the walls a their caves 'n admired the illusion a animation caused by the flickering a the world’s first flame.

Graham: How many Nids have ye Hogged thus far?

Adam: I have Hogged most a the Nids. Mostly huddled around a keyboard rather than playing online.

I have three main points a discussion that I’d like t' raise. Can we work through those first? With deviations permitted, a course.

Graham: That sounds very structured, but YARRRR. Point one?

Adam: GRAPHICS.

I’ve seen lots a complaints about the style 'n apparent execution, most a which I assume comes from people who haven’t played the game. It’s mostly a very CLEAN look, which communicates events exactly as it best, I find.

Apart from the sky level, with the clouds, which hurts me eyes.

Graham: Have ye played messhof’s other games? Nidhogg be tame, as far as his normal warping, wibbling, psychadelic fever dreams go. I remember Randy Balma Municipal Abortionist (an actual game) being particularly difficult t' parse.

Adam: ye’ve made that up, surely.

Graham: Nope.

Adam: Wow – Google’s second result for the phrase ‘Randy Balma Municipal Abortionist’ be a write-up by none other than Alec Meer Municipal Games Journalist, back in 2008.

I wish it be called ‘Randy Balma Municipal Abortionist (an actual game)’

Graham: Messhof has been quiet for a long time, until this proper release, but there be a while when he be turning out great, inventive stuff on a seemingly weekly basis. Punishment 2: The Punishing be a superb platformer, for example.

I love the way Nidhogg looks. Not just the colour scheme 'n backgrounds, but little details in the animation: the way yer swords flex 'n bend as ye change stances; the cute, Wildebeest crouchwalk; the spraying blood 'n melting a corpses; the way ye can stick a lad with yer sword, 'n keep moving the sword up 'n down ad infinitum.

In fact, I’ve fallen for every single animation: divekicks! Cartwheels! Swipe kicks! It all looks so fluid 'n, as ye say, CLEAN. For all it be flat-colour 'n oozing texture, there’s still something a the rotoscoped-style a Prince a Persia t' it.

Adam: Do ye think the trippiness, for lack a a better word, adds anything? I agree that there be lovely details, in the backgrounds as well with the chomping worms 'n droplets a water, but it’s such a precisely controlled game that any distraction could be deemed unnecessary.

be the feverish appearance part a the swordfighting 'n tension, or be it a charm separate from them? Does that make sense?

Graham: I do. Nidhogg pushes players t' a point a near hysteria. ye visit Davey Jone's locker so quickly, so often, that ye snap into this rhythm a constantly rushing, trying t' make progress 'n maintain momentum. yer deaths become very funny, very frantic. Falling into the void through yer own mistake, or killing yer opponent at the same time they kill ye.

There’s a kind a madness t' it, in the speed 'n frequency 'n desperate rush. I think that’s supported by the dripping, chomping, sacrificial theme 'n art, 'n the excellent, hypnotic electronic music.

Adam: Although the internet has attempted t' diminish the act a physically laughing out loud by turning it into punctuation, I must say that Nidhogg genuinely does make me chortle like a buffoon.

Graham: I used t' play the earlier builds in an office. Our yelps, guffaws 'n screams would draw crowds, 'n the people who’d come see what we be doing would start laughing along with it. There aren’t many competitive games like this which be so inclusive or social. It’s a great party game.

Adam: The aesthetic be part a that. It has a slapstick quality, particularly in the crouch-walk 'n the divekick, that convey proper human motion without having obvious verisimilitude. The avatars, like that early Prince a Persia, be very human indeed.

I always feel a bit sad when people reject a game because a it be appearance when, in fact, the aesthetic works hand-in-hand with the rest a the design. It be a very hard game t' screenshot satisfactorily though.

Before I played it, I wasn’t sure if it be messy, in a Valley Without Wind sort a way, or too abstract t' maintain the tightness a control it needed t' grab me.

Graham: It does seem t' put people off, although yeah, often only until they see it in motion. I think the style be deliberately there t' assimilate ye into it be fevered mindset, but even if ye don’t buy that, it’s never obscuring a what’s happening.

It’s never scratchy in the way VWW felt either, because it’s all moving, shimmering, blowing, reacting. Like the way the crop fields ruffle as ye run through them.

Adam: That’s me favourite bit a scenery. I love a good crop field. Left 4 Dead be the last game t' do the dread a a corn-sea quite this well.

Now that we’ve confirmed our fever-punk art appreciation credentials, shall we move on t' the next point?

Graham: I be skewered. ye have the initiative t' progress, fighter.

Adam: SCENE: As we travel t' the left, onto the second screen, ADAM lifts his sword t' parry GRAHAM’S lunge. Both swords slip from hands 'n come t' rest some distance away. The two combatants roll in the dust, punching 'n kicking, until a loud SNAP as ADAM’S neck be broken.

BUT THERE be LAG.

Confusion reigns. The scene didn’t quite gel as it travelled across the tubes a the internet. The second point be netcode, which I’ve found a bit dodgy.

It’s a game that needs t' run as smooth as butter but sometimes it’s a bit like trying t' spread butter that has just come out a the fridge, 'n ye end up hacking at it with an axe 'n then just sort a piling it up in shards in the middle a the toast 'n hoping it’ll melt.

Graham: Yeah but then it does melt, 'n it’s delicious because the shards have smeared more butter across the toast than ye’d ever dared apply otherwise?

Adam: So good.

Graham: I haven’t had personal experience with the lag, although it’s a common enough complaint that it’s clearly an issue. What I had be the near impossibility a connecting t' mateys in the first place, after it first launched. A couple a updates have improved this, but it’s still a tad fiddly in it be multiplayer menus 'n a tad unreliable at that initial connection for me.

Also, when we played, ye beat me a lot. be ye lagging at the same time? be I that bad? Say it ain’t so.

Adam: I’ve found it impossible t' play at times because there’s a delay, probably less than a second, but sometimes it’s absolutely fine. as I said earlier, I mostly play with people locally, so it’s not too much a an issue but there be definite issues.

It be fine for me during those bouts – it often be. I haven’t been able t' pinpoint why exactly the lag occurs because sometimes it’s just too much t' take 'n other times it doesn’t happen at all.

Graham: When it does work, do ye find playing online as fun as playing locally? Or be there some intrinsic part a it be enjoyment that relies on sitting next t' yer opponent?

Adam: I’ve never played without an audience – even if I’m playing online, I’ll have people around me 'n we’ll pass the keyboard around from game t' game.

But I don’t know if I need the opponent right there. I don’t think so. Anyone be good. I’m capable a cackling like a maniac watching a colourful nightmare while I’m all alone, but it wouldn’t look good in me psych file.

It’s fascinating how a slight delay can change the entire experience though. The speed 'n precision a the game, with even the slightest a input or timing flaws, means that it ceases t' be hilarious 'n immediately becomes frustrating. Which, in a way, demonstrates just how perfectly machined it be.

Graham: It’s obviously much simpler than a Street Fighter-style fighting game, but for sure it’s no less dependent on timing. There seems t' be only a few pixels a difference between a disarming divekick 'n meeting a pointy, instant end.

Adam: Yeah. There’s a tendency t' describe any multiplayer game that has a comedic, slapstick element as chaotic, 'n that can imply a lack a precision. Nidhogg be as sharply honed as a good foil though. Same’s true a Wizard Wars, me other multiplayer obsession a the moment. Packed with madness 'n seemingly chaotic outcomes, but all dependent on very deliberate inputs 'n timing.

Graham: Similarly tight one-on-one fighter Samurai Gunn be the same. The feeling in these games a being out a control comes from the pace. It pushes ye t' the edge a what ye’re capable a reacting t', so ye’re always off-balance. But yer actions be precise 'n deliberate.

Graham: I say, saying the same things ye said.

Adam: We need t' violently disagree about something. Perhaps point number three?

Graham: FINAL SCREEN.

Adam: A simple question comes into play on the final screen – be Nidhogg a game a skill or a game a mad circumstance? We’ve touched on it in that previous conversation but, in more detail, do ye believe that there be ‘good’ 'n ‘bad’ Nidhogg players? Does experience improve the skillset? How complex be the possible curve a learning 'n adaptation?

be IT POSSIBLE t' DIVEKICK ALL THE WAY t' THE MAW a THE BEAST

Graham: I believe there be definitely good 'n bad players. If timing matters, it’s possible t' master that timing. t' be more precise. More than that, it’s possible t' make better decisions. It’s the question a: when best ye throw yer sword, 'n when best ye draw yer opponent closer? When best ye divekick 'n when best ye keep yer feet planted? High, middle or low? This only comes through experience.

Graham: We’ve described it as a multiplayer game again 'n again, but I’ve been playing a lot a the singleplayer. The challenge here be: how fast can ye reach the end a a series a fights against different types a AI opponents?

There be leaderboards. I’m terrible. But I’m getting better, too.

Adam: Ah. I’ve only played singleplayer briefly because I have many mateys. It be good fun though – one a the few games in which I find the computer more unpredictable than a human opponent, 'n that’s quite entertaining.

One a the lovely things about playing with an actual person be that they will occasionally throw a sword because IT be FUNNY t' THROW A SWORD. They don’t need t' do it, it doesn’t help them, but there be something inherently comical about lobbing yer weapon across a room 'n then crawling around on the floor, bouncing occasionally.

That’s what games be all about really.

Graham: I don’t think enough good things have been said about the AI. I can’t tell how much be programmed 'n how much be projection, but it seems t' have real personality 'n character. Occasionally ye’ll meet an opponent who loves throwing their sword, or likes t' crouch 'n then hop after killing ye, seemingly gloating.

In the singleplayer, the opponents be different colours. I’m not certain, but I think those colours have fixed strategies that be the same every time ye meet them. So the red lad has a greater chance t' like divekicks, or whatever.

Adam: The computer opponents seem a bit bonkers. Sometimes they destroy me completely 'n other times they be quite passive. I didn’t think about the timed element because I’m very silly.

There be no AI. Messhof imprisoned seventy two people in a large underground chamber 'n whenever ye choose t' play singleplayer, ye be randomly connected t' one a them.

Graham: This would also make sense. The crouch-jumping lad must really enjoy his imprisonment. 4:30 PM

Adam: I’m an extremely cautious swordsman. I inch forward 'n jab a lot, defense up. Like a cowardly boxer.

But if I kill someone, ye better believe I’m going t' crouch-jump ALL OVER the room.

'n IN THE GAME

Graham: I grow impatient 'n sprint in wildly, thrusting 'n swiping 'n leaping into the air. me favourite move be t' try t' slide-roll under a person’s waiting sword, after they’ve expected me t' stay 'n fight fair. It only ever works once or twice, but boy it feels nice.

Adam: That be the most satisfying thing ever. Better than a headshot in the sort a game that bellows HEADSHOT

Graham: We haven’t reached the pointy end a yer question, yet. Do ye think there be good 'n bad Nidhogg players?

Adam: No. I believe that all be in flux 'n that everyone will eventually be devoured by Nidhogg, whether they have been good or bad. I believe that the only way t' improve be t' play but t' play be also a sure way t' atrophy, caught in the endlessly burning colours a the landscapes 'n lunges. I believe that t' question the possibility a skill in a game that be defined by a sense a glee entirely separate from notions a victory or defeat be abhorrent.

'n I believe that we have come t' an impasse. EN GARDE.

Graham: Hey. HEY. Wait. I best stress that while I think that Nidhogg be the kind a game ye can pillage better at, slowly mastering it be madness, I also agree that skill be not the point. It’s a game that’s possible t' master. It’s not a game /about/ mastery. Playing against someone who has never played before can be as fun for both parties as playing someone who be a equal experience.

ye may improve, pillage better, win more in the long run, but I’m not sure it’s possible t' never visit Davey Jone's locker, t' never lose. Death 'n laughter be wonderful equalisers.

I may hold contradictory beliefs.

Adam: Nggh. (ye can’t say Nighodd without ‘nghh’) I actually agree entirely. I just wanted t' have a pretend fight, for thematic reasons. Maybe we can have a pillow fight.

Winning doesn’t matter but pulling off a neat move be incredibly satisfying. But I’d rather perform one really good kill 'n lose the entire round than win without doing anything particularly superlative/silly.

Graham: It be kind a a game about showing off, 'n inevitably failing at trying t' show off. The only sensible way t' ever play must surely be t' go mid, jab, recoil, 'n wait for yer opponent t' make a mistake. But on any given day, I’d rather throw me sword in the first second, go for a divekick 'n try t' crouchjump me way t' the next screen.

Adam: be there anything more beautiful than two swords simultaneously thrown? The ‘ting’ as they collide in mid-air? The mad scramble t' retrieve one?

Graham: Nothing. 'n I think the game knows it, since dying leaves yer sword behind. If two players pillage stuck in the same room for a while, they end up with a dozen swords littering the ground. So everyone starts throwing, immediately picking another up another sword from the bloodpainted floor.

Adam: before we wrap up like a couple a mummies, I want t' return t' something ye mentioned about the lack a complexity in comparison t' a more conventional one-on-one beat ‘em up, like Street Fighter, the number one franchise about punching tarmac.

Graham: 'n cars. Sometimes in Street Fighter ye beat up a car.

Adam: One a the things I love about Nidhogg be that anyone can play 'n compete straight away. There’s no memorisation required, no need t' study movelists 'n characters. That’s a legitimate form a complexity, a course, but I much prefer a game that rewards use a a few functions than knowledge a an enormous amount.

'n, YARRRR, I be saying that Nidhogg be better than Street Fighter. All a the Street Fighters. COME AT ME, INTERNET

Graham: I don’t know that it’s better, but I think Nidhogg can certainly sit comfortably alongside Street Fighter or anything like it. I think the fighting game community maybe feels the same way, too. Nidhogg appeared at the EVO Championship Series recently, 'n there be other, similarly simple fighting games that have been born from that community itself, like the aptly titled Divekick.

Personally, Nidhogg be far more me style too.

Adam: It’s certainly better for me but that be partly because I can only remember two moves. Trying t' learn fatalaties in Mortal Kombat be harder than finishing me dissertation. I be extremely rubbish at beat ‘em ups.

Graham: I enjoy watching 'n reading about them more than playing them. I don’t like learning by rote, although I appreciate the enormous skill required 'n satisfaction in choosing the right move at the right moment, 'n executing it flawlessly.

Adam: Aye. I’m an observer rather than an actor as far as fighting games go.

Adam: Three topics raised – many words flung across the internet. Have we verdicted Nidhogg?

Graham: be Nidhogg a champion, destined t' be eaten by a Nordic dragon in glory? Or be it me, destined t' attempt t' throw it be sword in a corridor with too low a ceiling, only for the sword t' fall limply t' the ground, before hurling itself into a swirling abyss?

Adam: t' an extent, it all depends on lag.

Graham: I be slain.

Nidhogg be available from Steam for £12/$15. Read Graham’s Wot I Think here.