One time I heated up a rotten steak, injected hot mustard and tartar sauce into it, took a bite and it tasted like shit so I cut hole into it and *crag*ed the hell out of it. But then *crag*-skin got all melty and gooey because I heated up the steak for like 30 minutes so I went to a doctor and he said, and I quote, "Hole shit I cannot even begin to imagine how someone *crag*s up their dick as bad as this. Jesus holy *crag*ing God-Emperor Christ that is absolutely vile. It smells like burnt rubber and farts. You have completely destroyed your genitals beyond repair. Get the *crag* out!" So then I went home and jerked off and blood came out so I put a band-aid on my pee-hole and let that sit there for a couple of days. Then I ripped it off and it hurt a lot because some skin came with it and I smelled the tip of *crag* and it smelled awful so I sprayed some deodorant on it and it really, really, really *crag*ing stung. Then *crag* had this kind of dull throbbing pain for a couple of hours so I took some ibuprofen and painkillers and now it takes like 20 minutes for me to ejaculate. Oh, and my semen is still bloody and it burns when I pee.
I was going to post this on Christmas, but *crag* it, I'm posting it now. (butt *crag* it?)
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