Lord Crump older than one year ago

It's burger time

Join the crew, or else you'll be forced to walk the plank! The SPACE plank, that is!

Okay, so it opens up with this knight guy, named Alfred (Or something, I really haven't thought his name through), and he's the captain of the Hyrule Guard (Which is like this elite police force/task group composed of the King's finest warriors) leading a group of knights to the outskirts of Hyrule's countryside; they come across a goron, and they question the goron to see if he knows what they're looking for. Alfred is essentially searching for this corrupt priest named Agahnim; he was essentially the King's court holy man, but conspired against the king by trying to poison him, and when he failed, he fled from Hyrule.

So the goron dude tells Alfred that he saw weird cultist activity down the road in this small, abandoned town; the knights search the town and find Agahnim performing some sort of black magic ritual by draining the blood of freshly killed villagers and siphoning it in to this sort of magic vortex. Alfred and crew are like "what the hell is going on here," and then Agahnim simply says, with wicked glee--despite knowing that he is going to be captured, put on trial and executed--"He's returning. The Great One is finally returning."

And then it cuts to this other little village on the outskirts of a forest; there's this ranch where a young mute boy named Link lives. He's living a happy life despite the fact that for some strange reason he was born without the ability to form words (And this is a plot point explained a little later). He lives a happy life with his best friend Malon until a group of mauraders--which turn out to be the barbaric hordes sent by the ruthless Moblin King--ransack the town and kidnap Malon. Link, being the courageous young hero (Idiot) that he is, grabs his father's old rusty sword and shield and sets off after the moblins.

It turns out later that the Moblin King actually is in cahoots with Agahnim, but Link doesn't know this yet. Meanwhile, this Middle-Eastern looking man with bright red hair is leading a group of Gerudo refugees across the Great Desert/Hyrule border; you see, the land of the Gerudos is very poor and many want to come to Hyrule, which is the land of opportunity. The thing is, though, the leader of this operation is also a knight of Hyrule himself... but he also holds motives aside from gauranteeing safe passage to immigrants and serving the king.

Meanwhile, the daughter of the King, Princess Zelda, has special mystic powers; she can reveal the true motives behind anyone she talks to. Some say it's magic or psychic powers, but nobody knows what it really is. Alfred and the middle-eastern man (Who we'll call Gamond) escort Princess Zelda to Agahnim's prison cell and Zelda tries to get Agahnim to reveal his true motives. Aganhim then tells the group the story of Ganondorf, a man from the vast desert who held a remarkable power: the Tri-Force of Power. Ganondorf was destined to do great things, as the Hero of Power, but instead, was filled with rage and hate, due to the fact that his people were oppressed for so many ages. Thus, Ganondorf would seek out the full Tri-Force of the Gods to gain the power of the Gods for himself, and re-create the world the way he wanted to... at the cost of the lives of everyone.

I'll continue later, but it's interesting so far, is it not

So delightfully campy!

I mean, it's so good, it puts Super Mario Bros. 3, Ocarina of Time, Half-Life 2, Final Fantasy VII, and Halo to shame. Skyward Sword is this game where you play as this guy who wears green, and his name is Link. He's badass 'cause he's got this sword and it's all motion-controlled n' shit. The swordplay is so badass it will have you creaming your pants and crying Niagara Falls.

Also he has this little beetle thing that you can send flying places n' shit. Best little beetle thing ever.

I give this game an 11/10. Game of the year of all years.

This game is fan-*crag*ing-tastic, you should all buy it. Even though it's a prequel to Fusion, it's also a spiritual successor to Fusion; it is, like, an evolution of the classic 2D formula, only more action-packed.

I don't care what you say. Spore was a great game. Was it a disappointment of Molyneuxian proportions? Well, of course, but that doesn't change the fact that it still provided hours of fun.

If you absolutely had to die, with no other option or way out at all, how would you go about doing it in the most awesome way possible?

choose wisely

Example: is finally moved in to his college dorm and is ready for some EDUMUCATION

Gentlemen... BEHOLD!

FRANIS 2: THE GREAT MOUNTAIN ADVENTURE

Embark on an epic quest of epicness as you take control of franis as he hikes the Appalachian Trail! There will be laughs, and there will be tears! Oh, and did I mention? There will be BEARS!!!111!!!1!1!!!ONE

Controls: Arrow keys move franis, press "space" for franis to face the same direction as he moves (And "space" again to unlock the direction he is facing), and "S" to shoot

Main Version:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5BEKQQJ6

No Sound Version:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UUPPIEFC

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/yogi-bear/trailers/11116426/

...but do YOU have it?

The film would revolve around the BP oil spill and Aquaman's efforts to track down and kill the villainous corporate ghouls responsible for the mess

In addition, they'd need to get Sylvester Stallone to play Aquaman; there would be plenty of machine guns and explosions and we'd get to hear Stallone say "YOU THINK YOU CAN DEFEAT THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE SEA? WELL THINK AGAIN"