Joystiq

You know, we always thought GLaDOS ran the Portal simulation just so she could discover the true value of friendship, but it may really have been in the name of public service. In the video after the break -- created by Freddie Wong, who you probably recognize from his ridiculous (and hilarious) Guitar Hero video -- we get a glimpse at the likely ramifications of improper Portal gun training and how a few apathetic "friends" can ruin one of the most exciting experiences ever. And here, all this time, we thought GLaDOS was the bad guy!

Note: For those of you who spot that weird frame at the end of the video -- yep, with all that gibberish -- don't bother to decipher it. It's apparently just another gag from Freddie and "friends." Yuk-yuk-yuk.

R.U.S.E. is quite a crafty game. It turns out that the recently revealed June 3 release date was nothing but a smoke screen for the real date. The fully legitimate, actual release date is June 8. The game's PC beta began today and, according to Big Download, Ubisoft also announced the change in launch schedule. Normally, this kind of thing would be upsetting but, given the title, it just seems appropriate.

The beta, incidentally, is available now to all Steam users. It allows both single-player and multiplayer action with six different factions on seven multiplayer maps.

EA Sports' "Season Opener" event at GDC contained one major announcement for the developer's bevy of franchises: EA Sports Active will receive the sequel treatment this Fall with EA Sports Active 2.0 (working title), an updated version of the exergame for the PS3, Wii, iPhone and iPod Touch platforms. The console versions of the game will come equipped with two motion sensors and a heart rate monitor the player can strap to their arms and legs.

User information in this new game can be shared over an online social network, allowing fellow players to keep track of how frequently you've been skipping out on your demanding workout regimen. EA Vancouver is reprising its role as developer for the title. We'll let you know when we hear more about 2.0 -- like, for instance, why the game is apparently skipping out on launching on the 360.

Flip's Twisted World is a rare third party game that sets to do something original for the Wii. Yet strangely, it's gone almost completely unnoticed. While platformers are a dime a dozen, Flip's gravity-twisting gameplay offers a unique spin (get it?) that deserves a look. The "gimmick" at the heart of Flip's Twisted World is the player's ability to "flip" the world at whim, turning floors into walls, ceilings into floors, and more.

Majesco has released a dev diary for Flip's Twisted World that better explains its gameplay. It's easy to make comparisons to Super Mario Galaxy, but that's not really a bad thing, is it? Flip's Twisted World comes out on Wii this April.

Capcom has revealed the final new character for Super Street Fighter IV, and he's ... well, he's a giant dude covered in oil. Like, Hakan actually oils himself up before each round. This has the aesthetic effect of being extraordinarily off-putting, and the functional effect of allowing him to slide across the stage as if it were the Crocodile Mile. And since he's a grappling-type character, you get these really great squishing noises whenever he grabs another character.

See Hakan in action after the break, courtesy of IGN, and just try to imagine the design process behind this guy. Suddenly a green guy who can generate electricity sounds pretty low-key.

[Via PS3Attitude, thanks, Vallanthaz!]

Ready to frustrate yourself forever? Learn the game of Go. It's an ancient Chinese game that's over four thousand years old, and games can last up to 16 hours in tournaments. Sounds just perfect for an adaptation into the frenetic world of video games, right?! Well, your wish is granted. The Path of Go or How We Came Up With A Proprietary Name For The Public Domain Game of Go is being developed in-house by Microsoft at the likewise excitingly named Microsoft Research Cambridge division.

We played the game briefly at GDC, and it's actually very robust. It includes a tutorial where your avatar has some faux back and forth dialogue with an ancient Go master, in which he really does teach you the game. I tried reading an old instruction manual for a set of Go I found at a thrift shop once, and was so confused by terms like "ko" and proper stone placement that I just re-thrifted the set. Now, I'm ready to take on Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind and kick his ass.

Additionally, the game features single player or two player both locally and through Xbox Live, multiple backgrounds, and full 3D environments where you can control the camera. There's also an actual story mode in here, where you learn the nuances of the game in "beat the situation" scenarios while heading down a path. The ... wait for it ... Path of Go.

Want to decorate your virtual home with a knife-wielding monster, or an elusive sentient cactus? Of course you do. And for you, Square Enix is offering a selection of Final Fantasy XIII items for PlayStation Home starting this Thursday.

"Items to collect," the press release reads, "include a sofa, table, chair, shelves, planter set, Cactuar and Tonberry figures, and stuffed animals." You can see some of the goods with which you can festoon your nonexistent digs above. Square Enix didn't price any of them, but it ranges from 100 to 200 yen (around $1-2) each in Japan. It's a small price to pay for your very own Tonberry.

This year's Game Developers Conference has two new tracks for the new kids in town: the Social & Online Games Summit and the iPhone Games Summit. Facebook's Gareth Davis delivered the keynote for the former this morning, titled "How Friends Change Everything." With 400 million users, 200 million of whom are playing games on the service, it's pretty hard to argue with Facebook's bona fides as a seriously huge gaming platform. With components like Facebook Connect, we're even seeing Facebook functionality penetrate the historically isolated game consoles, like Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and even DSi.

While Microsoft trumpets the largely dubious distinction of being the "largest social network on television," it doesn't compare favorably to what most of us consider to be a real "social network." Outside of the Facebook integration, adding friends on Xbox Live is a largely manual process; one obfuscated by aliases instead of real names, the basic litmus test of a social network. Indeed, Davis thinks "real identities" are a major component to Facebook's gaming magic. Playing against real people is "much more compelling than playing against SharkBoy69," says Davis. When it comes to real identity in games, Davis says we're just "scratching the surface."

Infinity Ward community manager Robert Bowling has pointed us toward a new self-help website filled with good news: new maps are coming to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 on March 30th. While the powers that be at Activision might have ousted the creators of the game, they haven't affected the delivery of eagerly awaited new maps.

People afflicted with mapathy, your cure is on the way. PS3 owners ... well, you'll have to suffer a bit longer. Have you spoken to your FAMAS-ist about a prescription?

[Thanks, Legion!]

"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel." - English

"Jestem dowódcą Shepard, a to jest mój ulubiony sklep na cytadeli." - Polish (machine translation)

In a GDC 2010 session entitled "Localizing Large RPGs," which forms part of an ongoing localization summit, BioWare localization project manager Ryan Warden eloquently explored the revered developer's process of adapting a huge, dialogue-driven game like Mass Effect 2 for alternative markets and languages. It may surprise you to learn that BioWare's processes are significantly more elegant than hiring an army of workers to copy and paste lines of text into Google Translate.

With 450,000 words and 30,000 lines of voice-over in the English version, Mass Effect 2 demanded an active approach in its translation to eight languages, including Russian, Czech and Spanish. "Trying to manage this scope is almost unfathomable," said Warden. "For BioWare titles, we don't have the luxury of waiting for the title to be fully complete before starting localization."

The concurrent process was designed to provide as much information and context to translators as possible, allowing them to focus on the job without having to request further information for each new conversation. BioWare compiled a complete localization kit, complete with a pronunciation guide (that's crow-guhn, not kroggin!), an IP glossary, a collection of translator Q&A documents and an extensive character database. "Any time that a translator spends time asking questions and waiting for feedback ... that's wasted time," Warden added. The goal, he said, was to "eliminate any doubt in the confidence of the translator."

The previously announced Jalopnik DLC for Forza Motorsport 3 is now available on Xbox Live Marketplace. The pack includes 10 cars, which were chosen by the editors of Jalopnik.com, and include "some of the most coveted 2009 and 2010 models." The pack contains the following cars:

• 2008 Mazda Furai
• 2010 Jaguar #33 Jaguar RSR XKR GT
• 2009 Ford #40 Robertson Racing Ford GT Mk7
• 2010 Aston Martin V12 Vantage
• 2010 Porsche 911 Sport Classic
• 1992 Bugatti EB110 SS
• 2011 BMW Motorsport Z4 sDrive35is
• 2010 Audi TT RS Coupe
• 2010 Aston Martin Rapide
• 2010 Honda Mugen Civic Type-R 3D

The car pack costs 400 ($5), but you can also grab a sample -- the 2010 Honda Mugen Civic Type-R 3D -- for free. Head over to the Forza Motorsport website for more info on each car.

Shortcut: Add the Jalopnik Car Pack to your Xbox 360 download queue [Via Xbox.com]
Shortcut: Add the Jalopnik Sample Car to your Xbox 360 download queue [Via Xbox.com]

Being a giant, beloved video game blog has its downsides. For example, we sometimes neglect to give independent developers our coverage love (or loverage, if you will) as we get caught up in AAA, AAAA or the rare quintuple-A titles. To remedy that, we're giving indies the chance to create their own loverage and sell you, the fans, on their studios and products. This week we talk with Markus Hofer of Blackish Games. His studio's feeding that dirty little addiction you know you developed during the Winter Olympics with Age of Curling.

Joystiq: How did you or your company get started?

Markus Hofer: I had a pretty good job as a graphic artist, but I always rather wanted to work on my own stuff. I figured it would take me about a year to make my first game and so I saved as much money as I could. I looked into all sorts of tools, talked to a lot of people and once I was confident I had found everything and everyone I needed, I quit and got going ...

First Star Software and Dutch developer Catnip Games recently announced their upcoming collaboration on an Xbox Live Arcade remake of the classic gem-collecting puzzler, Boulder Dash. That's not to be confused with the classic dishonesty-based board game Balderdash. Or the exclamation popularized by mustachioed, portly gentlemen from the 1920s who found themselves upset by a piece of nonsensical information.

Very little pertinent info was revealed by the developers' joint press release announcement, though we do know the game will include "sparkling diamonds," "hordes of enemies," "numerous traps," and "falling boulders." The release doesn't mention dashing, but we assume it will also play a pivotal role.

Though we've thoroughly enjoyed Just Cause 2's "Anatomy of a Stunt" videos, we're not sure the one you see posted above is accurately titled. Though the name "Rocket Launcher Jump" does capture some of the components of the stunt, it fails to mention a few other important buzzwords; namely "speedboat," "ramp," "explosion," "death," "aerial," and "unimaginably awesome."

Do yourself a favor and check out the video above, which we've chosen to remoniker "Unimaginably Awesome Speedboat Ramp Jump Aerial Rocket Launcher Explosion Death."

Don't want to wait for a Blu-ray disc from Netflix? Wish you could watch an HD program instantly (provided your internet connection is robust enough)? The PlayStation Store will be updated today with HD movies for purchase from all six major studios. Previously, movies for purchase were relegated to SD options, whilst HD movies were available exclusively for rent. According to a press release from SCEA, "PlayStation Network is the first to offer high definition movies for purchase from all of the major movie studios," including 20th Century Fox, Walt Disney, Paramount, Sony Pictures, Universal, and Warner Bros.

The HD update will be available today on the PlayStation Store in the US, with "plans to launch soon in the U.K., France, Germany, and Spain." (Sorry, Canada!) While we still prefer owning Blu-ray discs, this downloadable option is yet another way for people to access content.

Wayne Barlow's 'Cerberus' ... gross
Held in conjunction with the Into the Pixel and Video Game Art Show exhibitions, San Francisco's Hotel des Arts is dedicating its entire fourth floor to "The Making of Dante's Inferno" through April 2010. We've got a sneak peek at the art on display in the gallery below, but if you want to see the real deal we'd suggest you make your way to the opening night reception being held at the Hotel des Arts on Thursday night, from 6pm to 10pm, smack dab in the middle of GDC week.

In advance of NPD sales results for February 2010, analysts are predicting year-over-year declines for pretty much everything. Wedbush Morgan analyst Michael Pachter, according to Gamasutra, is predicting that hardware and software sales will decline 10 percent, with Wii hardware sales hit particularly hard (around 40 percent) due to shortages. Beyond the Wii, the continuing decline of the music genre is partly to blame for the reduced sales.

Analyst Colin Sebastian is guessing at a 15 percent decline, despite encouraging early sales for games like Heavy Rain and preorders for games like Battlefield: Bad Company 2 (which, as an early March release, may fit into the NPD February sales period) and God of War III. The fact that high-profile games are likely to show sharp declines after strong first-week sales will prevent software trends from turning for the better.

In advance of NPD sales results for February 2010, analysts are predicting year-over-year declines for pretty much everything. Wedbush Morgan analyst Michael Pachter, according to Gamasutra, is predicting that hardware and software sales will decline 10 percent, with Wii hardware sales hit particularly hard (around 40 percent) due to shortages. Beyond the Wii, the continuing decline of the music genre is partly to blame for the reduced sales.

Analyst Colin Sebastian is guessing at a 15 percent decline, despite encouraging early sales for games like Heavy Rain and preorders for games like Battlefield: Bad Company 2 (which, as an early March release, may fit into the NPD February sales period) and God of War III. The fact that high-profile games are likely to show sharp declines after strong first-week sales will prevent software trends from turning for the better.

Thus far, we've really learned only one thing from the trailers released for Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition: You can plan to spend a lot of time in the game pounding very strange looking people in the face. Whether you do so by yourself or with a friend is up to you. Now, thanks to the latest trailer from Atlus, we learn a little bit about the story of Zeno Clash. It seems that the main character kills someone or something known as Father-Mother. We're not sure what started the dispute -- perhaps a forgotten Father-Mother's Day present -- but the end result is a dead tribal leader, banishment and a quest for the truth. You know, that old chestnut.

Zeno Clash: Ultimate Edition hits XBLA on March 31.

Sure, Ferraris are fun and all, but they aren't exotic enough. EA's looking to increase Need For Speed: Shift's roster of wacky, expensive rides you'll probably never drive in real life through the Exotic Racing Series Pack. Available March 18 for 800 ($10) on Xbox Live and PSN, the Exotic Racing Series Pack parks seven new rides in your virtual garage:

• Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione
• BMW M1 Procar
• GUMPERT apollo
• Honda NSX
• McLaren MP4-12C
• Maserati GranTurismo S
• Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren Stirling Moss

Though we already know the bulk of the March release schedule for new content on the Xbox Live Marketplace, Major Nelson's blog recently laid out how the rest of the month will play out. Tomorrow, we'll get our hands on Scrap Metal for 1200 ($15), next Wednesday will see the release of Perfect Dark for 800 ($10), and on March 24, we'll get our hands on the (somewhat) free Game Room hub. Oh, and the Games on Demand service got a bit crazier today with the release of Condemned: Criminal Origins for $19.99.

If you're an insatiable value-hound, you should turn your attention to the upcoming Deals of the Weeks: The original Fable will have its price reduced to 800 ($10) from 1200 ($15) during the week of March 15. All of Fallout 3's add-on packs, including Operation: Anchorage, The Pitt, Broken Steel, Point Lookout and Mothership Zeta, will be offered at half price (400, or $5) during the week of March 22. For the rest of the schedule, including Avatar outfits and add-on packs, check out the list after the jump.

Though we already know the bulk of the March release schedule for new content on the Xbox Live Marketplace, Major Nelson's blog recently laid out how the rest of the month will play out. Tomorrow, we'll get our hands on Scrap Metal for 1200 ($15), next Wednesday will see the release of Perfect Dark for 800 ($10), and on March 24, we'll get our hands on the (somewhat) free Game Room hub. Oh, and the Games on Demand service got a bit crazier today with the release of Condemned: Criminal Origins for $19.99.

If you're an insatiable value-hound, you should turn your attention to the upcoming Deals of the Weeks: The original Fable will have its price reduced to 800 ($10) from 1200 ($15) during the week of March 15. All of Fallout 3's add-on packs, including Operation: Anchorage, The Pitt, Broken Steel, Point Lookout and Mothership Zeta, will be offered at half price (400, or $5) during the week of March 22. For the rest of the schedule, including Avatar outfits and add-on packs, check out the list after the jump.

With Shank now being published by EA, Klei Entertainment is putting the increased development budget to good use -- with a trailer! Well, it's likely there would be a trailer this week anyway, as this week also marks the hyper-violent XBLA/PSN/PC brawler's appearance at the Independent Games Festival.

The brutal violence may dominate the trailer, but our eyes were immediately drawn to the acrobatics. There's so much somersaulting, swinging, hanging, and other exciting-looking methods of movement that they even manage to distract us from the usually thrilling shoot-stab-saw combos on display.

Microsoft took yet another step today in convincing us that Windows Phone 7 will be a legitimate gaming platform. The company just unveiled XNA Game Studio 4.0, which, in addition to supporting PC and Xbox 360, will also let designers make games for the new mobile platform. Besides being great news for indies, it also means that you'll be able to use your gamertag and Avatar on the phone, as well as unlock Xbox Live Achievements.

You can read more about the technical integration of XNA and WP7 on Microsoft program manager Michael Klucher's blog. Hopefully we'll have even more details for you as the tech is rolled out during GDC.

Commander's log:

Well, whaddya know? I get up this morning and ride down to Deck 2, and the first thing outta Kelly's mouth is that I have a new message at my Private Terminal. About time -- things have been damn boring around here since beating up the Collectors! Anyway, it's from Illusive Man -- who else -- with a tantalizing subject line: "Arc Projector."

So, get this, ol' Smoking Man says Cerberus has passed off a new "advanced electrical attack device" to me. It was recently tested on some geth during a "highly successful" skirmish in the Skyllian Verge. (I guess I won't tell Legion that part, but "he" probably already knows.)

Well, I'd sure like to test it myself, but the galaxy's awfully quiet these days. I guess it's finally time to start up that New Game+...

-Shepard
The Arc Projector heavy weapon add-on is available for free to Mass Effect 2 owners with a Cerberus Network account. In-game item description: "The arc projector ionizes targets with a nonvisible laser to ready them for a high-voltage electrical attack. As tge lightning-like bolt hits its first target, a sophisticated autotargeting system paints succeeding targets with the ionization laser, allowing the electricity to take the part of least resistance and arc between them. An entire enemy strike team can be shocked to death with a few pulls of the trigger."

[Thanks to Paul & Kris120890!]

No globally-recognized holiday can escape attention from Media Molecule's DIY platformer, LittleBigPlanet, don't ya know? This week, the PS3 version of the game will receive a free St. Patrick's Day-themed costume, which turns your adorable sack-vatar into a reddish-orange-bearded leprechaun. That's really exciting news if you're a fan of Lucky Charms -- but really terrifying news if you're familiar with Warwick Davis' acclaimed psychological thriller series.

We hate to derail this post's train of thought, but we've been absorbed by the rich mythos of Leprechaun after reading that Wikipedia entry. Did you guys know there have been six installments in the Leprechaun franchise? It's true: Leprechaun, Leprechaun 2, Leprechaun 3, Leprechaun 4: In Space, Leprechaun: In the Hood and Leprechaun: Back to tha Hood. This is not a joke. Those are all real movies, which real people really made.

Much like the star it's named for, it seems the Tiger Woods PGA Tour franchise isn't adverse to trying new things. EA has announced that the next iteration, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11, will support the PlayStation Motion Controller to "give gamers an authentic interactive swing experience."

There aren't any other details about Motion Controller implementation at the moment, but the game is slated for release on June 8 -- well before the Motion Controller's projected fall release. (And before you ask, no mention has been made of support for Microsoft's Project Natal.)

It may be less flashy, but series fans may be interested to hear the game will also feature the Ryder Cup, allowing for two 12-man teams to face off against each other.

We say 12-man, but we guess it could be 12 women against 12 men, right? Heck, maybe even 12 women against one man. Can you imagine, one guy trying to keep up with all those women? We sure can't.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11 will be available on June 8 for Wii (with MotionPlus support), Xbox 360, PS3 and iPhone.

Much like the star it's named for, it seems the Tiger Woods PGA Tour franchise isn't adverse to trying new things. EA has announced that the next iteration, Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11, will support the PlayStation Motion Controller to "give gamers an authentic interactive swing experience." There aren't any other details about implementation at the moment and no, before you ask, no mention is made of support for Microsoft's Project Natal.

It may be less flashy, but series fans may be interested to hear the game will also feature the Ryder Cup, allowing for two 12-man teams to face off against each other.

We say 12-man, but we guess it could be 12 women against 12 men, right? Heck, maybe even 12 women against one man. Can you imagine, one guy trying to keep up with all those women? We sure can't.

Though there's a lot of content on DSiWare in Japan today, it's almost entirely training stuff. So, it would seem that DSiWare stepped aside to let WiiWare's single release shine this week. (That's probably not what really happened -- but it's a nice thought.)

In any case, Mega Man 10 is up on WiiWare in Japan today, and it's likely to overshadow anything else available this week, including the ancient Moon Cresta:

• Mega Man 10 (WiiWare, 1 player, 1,000 Wii Points)
• Moon Cresta (VC Arcade, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points)

• G.G. Series Throw Out (DSiWare, 1 player, 200 DSi Points)
• Renjuku Kanji: Shougaku 4-nensei (DSiWare, 1 player, 500 DSi Points)
• Renjuku Kanji: Shougaku 5-nensei (DSiWare, 1 player, 500 DSi Points)
• Brain Challenge (DSiWare, 1 player, 500 DSi Points)
• Let's Golf (DSiWare, 1 player, 800 DSi Points)

Jagged Alliance fans have been waiting since 1999 for a new game in the tactical role-playing series -- well, those Jagged Alliance fans that are still fans after all these years, anyway. bitComposer Games has acquired the rights to the series from Strategy First, announcing plans to release Jagged Alliance 3 sometime in 2011. The last time anything newish was released from the franchise was last year's DS port of the first game.

Though bitComposer has taken over development on the series, the announcement doesn't make it sound like the new studio plans to make drastic changes to the Jagged Alliance formula: "Jagged Alliance 3 will build on the strengths of its famous predecessors and, set against the backdrop of a gripping story, will again deliver the much-loved combo of turn-based strategy gameplay with roleplay elements."

[Via Gamasutra]